I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
