she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
