nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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