I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
