i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
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Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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