I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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