Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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