and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
