sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
