There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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