it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
3pm strippers are depressing
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
