i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize