i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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