We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
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Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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