Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
