I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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