Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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