She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
