I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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