if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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