I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
