I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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