Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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