apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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