Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize