Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i think i just lost a toe
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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