My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
