Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

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(203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you. http://tfl.nu/ig1m

Replies (8) Good night (1488) Bad night (673)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Four. Poor grandma...

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(403): I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught. (403): Four. Poor grandma... http://tfl.nu/klxl

Replies (15) Good night (1310) Bad night (5660)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man

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(405): Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man http://tfl.nu/vdn4

Replies (9) Good night (4704) Bad night (905)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......

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(610): Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain....... http://tfl.nu/fodn

Replies (26) Good night (1644) Bad night (7171)
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(818): View more from California

Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

(818): View more from California

And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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(818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux

Replies (14) Good night (5458) Bad night (1176)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

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(419): Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl... http://tfl.nu/mv65

Replies (8) Good night (4161) Bad night (1029)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.

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(732): Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered. http://tfl.nu/wcxh

Replies (5) Good night (3208) Bad night (711)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.

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(402): In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rvi7

Replies (11) Good night (1057) Bad night (4140)
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(214): View more from Texas

The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

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(214): The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become http://tfl.nu/8je0

Replies (6) Good night (2870) Bad night (1014)
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(289): View more from Ontario

Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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(289): Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food. http://tfl.nu/bfcw

Replies (8) Good night (3455) Bad night (705)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Just make sure my intervention has a theme...

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(256): Just make sure my intervention has a theme... http://tfl.nu/wrxo

Replies (9) Good night (1580) Bad night (525)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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(832): Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi http://tfl.nu/cj6k

Replies (10) Good night (1249) Bad night (887)
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(303): View more from Colorado

They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us

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(303): They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us http://tfl.nu/8tzs

Replies (11) Good night (959) Bad night (1543)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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(479): Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes. http://tfl.nu/b7x1

Replies (22) Good night (1418) Bad night (695)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for

(804): View more from Virginia

Oh my god she just threw up on her dog

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(804): I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for (804): Oh my god she just threw up on her dog http://tfl.nu/gcjh

Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (1334)

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