So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.