I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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