I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
