Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.