Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse http://tfl.nu/oibh
  Replies (11) Good night (1459) Bad night (3378)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work http://tfl.nu/ovrn
  Replies (31) Good night (4844) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Even water is tasting like jack daniels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Even water is tasting like jack daniels http://tfl.nu/2l5a
  Replies (15) Good night (4980) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me. http://tfl.nu/04rv
  Replies (32) Good night (5301) Bad night (1994)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake http://tfl.nu/w9rn
  Replies (8) Good night (2637) Bad night (5652)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex http://tfl.nu/a38e
  Replies (14) Good night (1158) Bad night (4550)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual http://tfl.nu/fkyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1489) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again. http://tfl.nu/2yc4
  Replies (5) Good night (680) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU http://tfl.nu/815m
  Replies (2) Good night (1763) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You took my underwater blowjob virginity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You took my underwater blowjob virginity. http://tfl.nu/gggt
  Replies (5) Good night (1719) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up. (520): Judging by this purple one they got to second base. http://tfl.nu/efot
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place http://tfl.nu/6f1z
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive http://tfl.nu/omm3
  Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  You have a 50 50 chance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again (1-615): You have a 50 50 chance http://tfl.nu/kr8c
  Replies (4) Good night (575) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours. http://tfl.nu/ugp6
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (276)

Randomize