Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this