I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude i'm inner monologue high
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
