life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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