I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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