I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
