I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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