Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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