Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
