That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
