Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize