Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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