You're my little dorito
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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