I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
