put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
