Will you blow on my dice?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
