I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
