Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
