i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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