I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
4 words: hood of his car
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
