im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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