No stitches, just platelets and will power
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize