and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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