I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize