Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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