I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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