i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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