well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
