I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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