My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sorry about my life...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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