I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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