In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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