my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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