True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I wish there were birth control emojis
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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