I must be too annoying 4 u.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
