who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Duck Duck Cougar?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
