words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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