South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I look better un-naked...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
