So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
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I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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